Poor parenting can cost your children their future. There is a thin line between success and failure in life and parenting styles play a huge role in your child’s quality of life. If you are worried about becoming the best parent you can be, look no further. By the end of this article, you will know all the basics of proper parenthood and all the things to avoid.
What is poor parenting?
On a scale of 1 – 10, how would you rate your parenting skills, with 1 being extremely poor and 10 excellent? There is no perfect parent out there, as children are not perfect. Across many modern homes, the quality of parenting is becoming permissive. This is one of the four parenting styles and it is considered a sign of poor parenting.
How do you respond to your child’s needs? What methods do you use to exercise your authority in the house? Is there a clearly defined communication model in your home?
Poor parenting is epitomized by neglect, mistreatment, or using the worst approaches to parenthood. In severe cases, the state has had to intervene, to save the children from further mental or physical damage.
Have you lost control over your house? Do you find yourself yelling all the time? Do you spend your days administering punishments and feel guilty at night? Maybe you feel like you have tried all parenting approached but nothing is working.
Before you rush to judge yourself as a poor parent, read on.
All children come with different issues but by the end of this article, you will know more about:
• Communicating with children for effective results.
• Potty and bedwetting training.
• Giving punishments reasonably and effectively.
• Inspiring academic excellence in your kids.
• Managing sex talks and puberty.
• Exerting limits on technology.
• Dealing with sibling rivalries and bullying.
• Assigning chores and allowances fairly.
• Instilling enthusiasm for healthy eating and physical activity.
How does poor parenting affect a child?
Parents often underestimate the influence they have on their kids. Research by the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology proves that children who undergo bad parenting are more likely to be delinquents or criminals. Neglect, permissiveness, poor supervision, and inconsistencies can negatively affect your children. Some of the most common effects of poor parenting on children include;
Clinical depression is prevalent among children who are subjected to poor parenting. If not noticed and treated early enough, the depression will transcend into adulthood and affect every other aspect of your child’s life.
Signs of clinical depression in children;
• Usually locking themselves in their rooms and prefer to stay alone.
• Poor self-esteem.
• Lack of communication.
• Sleep problems like insomnia and hypersomnia.
• Drastic changes in weight or appetite.
Factors that contribute to childhood depression include physical punishment, lack of parental support, poor communication, or inadequate emotional support.
A poor parent weakens their child’s ability to cope with hardships in life. There is a two-side coin to this. On one side, if you spoil your child and do everything for them, they will lack problem-solving skills. On the contrary, neglect equals not teaching your children how to respond to a crisis.
Bad social skills
Antisocial children primarily do not care how their actions affect the people around them. The Journal of Education & Human Development sites that show that most bullies are a result of poor parenting.
If you are pessimistic, coercive, permissive, or a bad role model, your child is more likely to be anti-social. Remember that poor social skills increase your child’s susceptibility to mental health, alcohol and drug abuse, criminality, and poor physical health.
Whether you are neglecting your child or you are over protecting them, there is a high chance that they will have low self-esteem. With neglect, you are showing your kids that they are not important in your life. Additionally, being overprotective sends a message that your children are incapable of dealing with challenges on their own.
Poor academic performance
According to the Journal of Research and Reflections in Education, the quality of parental support has an impact on a child’s academic performance. For instance, children of parents that practice Áuthoritative parenting style’ have the highest potential of achieving academic excellence. They are more attentive in class and have impressive memory capacities.
7 Ways Parents Work to Destroy Their Child’s Future Success
If you are doing the following things, you might be ruining your child’s chance of being successful in life.
Being a bad role model
Children are great imitators but poor interpreters. Hence, you should be on your best behavior when you are around your children.
Not paying enough attention to your child
It is important to spend quality time with your kids. You can play with them or take them with you on simple errands. Kids who grow up without parental attention grow up without a sense of direction or guidance. You fail to notice important things like bullying, sexual abuse, and mental health issues.
Not talking about sex
Some old-school parents consider sex talk as taboo. However, this is a big mistake as the child will eventually come to know about sex. In most cases, they will learn from their friends or the internet. Therefore, take control of the sex information your child feeds on by talking to them.
Using strict religion to instill discipline
It is ironic how some parents believe that prayer is enough to help their kids to grow with good morals. Remember that your child could be pretending to be good, just to please you. Therefore, back up religious activities with practical guidance and discipline.
Forcing children into a path
It is easy to get lost in the expectations you have of your child. Many parents want to live their dreams through their children. Ideally, it is more effective to see your children for who they are and letting them pursue their interests and talents.
Overprotecting children from failure
If you are always solving your child’s challenges, what will they do when you are not around? Teach your children that it is okay to fail, as long as they learn from their mistakes and never give up.
Lack of trust
Avoid promising things that you cannot fulfill, to your child. If your child mistrusts you, they will avoid opening up to you about a serious issue in their lives. Lack of trust in childhood also affects your kids’ future business, romantic and other relationships.
What are the signs of poor parenting?
Look out for these signs of poor parenting.
1. There are no rules, it is all fun and games. – Do you give your kids the power to decide and choose everything? If you have rules, what do you do when your children break them? A child who is not subjected to rules at home will disregard rules everywhere.
2. Physical and verbal abuse – Shouting at your kids, beating them, and calling them names paves the way for mental health issues and a strained relationship with you.
3. Lack of quality time – Your kids need your attention, so give it to them. A Michigan State University research agrees that children misbehave sometimes, to draw their parents’ attention.
4. Bias – Do you punish one child more than the others? Comparing your kid to others (siblings or peers) cultivates feelings of resentment.
5. Poor role models – You children are likely to emulate how you behave. For instance, if you are loud, abusive, dirty, or have any other vice, chances are, your child will become like you.
6. Spoiling – Are you always buying presents for your child? Do you use toys and allowance to soothe your kids? Buying whatever your child wants is a sign of poor parenting. Indeed, they will grow up entitled, knowing they can have anything they want.
7. Too much interference – Do you immediately dive to solve your kids’ conflicts? Help your kids develop social skills by allowing them to sort out their conflicts, once in a while. Only jump in when the conflict gets serious.
8. Over protectiveness – Children who are overprotected are likely to break rules and develop egocentric personalities. They feel like they can do what they want because mom or dad will ‘fix it’ for them.
What are the 4 types of neglect?
This is the most common type of neglect in America and beyond. In this case, the parent or guardian is not providing the child with all the basic or essential needs like shelter, clothing, and food.
Creating an environment of fear, where your child cannot comfortably talk to you about their issues is a sign of emotional neglect. Nevertheless, many parents are not even aware that they are emotionally neglecting their children.
Furthermore, children who are emotionally neglected feel insecure, rejected, ignored, overlooked, and isolated. Furthermore, The Harvard University Center on the Developing Child demonstrates that the absence of emotional support poses a threat to a child’s well-being.
Children undergoing educational neglect are not able to pursue their education. While some parents don’t do everything possible to make sure their children don’t miss even a single class, others don’t enroll their kids at school, altogether.
Not providing adequate healthcare to your kid is medical neglect. That is where child protective services come in, to ensure that children are given the medical care they need to protect them from disabilities, illnesses, or death.
Do Parents influence a child’s personality?
Yes. You are the first teacher and friend to your child before they can even go to school or make friends. Your child pays attention to who you are, what you do, and how you do things.
If you look back, you will notice that your parents affected the adult you are today. In truth, every person has a unique personality and our upbringing plays a huge role.
Often, when parents come to me needing help with their children, I assess all their personalities. We then compare the list of characters. What most parents come to realize is that their children’s personalities are a form of ‘reaction.
For example, if you are always shouting at your child, they might either become too afraid to express themselves or extremely aggressive so that you can hear them.
I tell parents that their children are a direct reflection of them. Certainly, looking at your child’s personalities can tell a lot about you as a person and as a parent.
The best way to learn how parenthood affects your children is by studying the four styles of parenting. Most importantly, learn how every parenting style works specifically for your child.
The authoritative parenting style is considered the best. Above all, such parents inspire discipline, confidence, academic excellence, empathy, and respect.
Children of authoritarian parents tend to be insecure or afraid to voice their opinions. Above all, they turn aggressive and sometimes violent.
Permissive parents inspire entitled personalities in their children. The kids grow up in an overprotective and care-free environment. Consequently, the children exhibit pride, self-centeredness, and disregard for rules.
The neglectful style of parenting breeds rebellious personalities. Subsequently, children of such parents have serious anti-social behaviors and are more prone to drugs and alcohol abuse.
How can a parent impact a child’s life?
There is clear evidence that parents can impact a child’s life. You are the primary caregiver to your child. In fact, you make all the important decisions including where they live, what they eat, who are their friends etc.
This question has been at the heart of most of my conversations with parents. So, I try to help them figure out how they can raise successful children, using the available resources.
The experiences that your child undergoes will affect them into adulthood. Moreover, it will impact how they conduct business, socialize, treat themselves, and even vote! The Eastern Illinois University explains how the potential of your child being successful is hugely dependant on you.
There is a substantial association between a child’s behavior and their parents’ attributes. A parent’s variables and principles account for the child’s social and academic development.
Parents ask me ‘How can I have so much influence over my child’s life? What about their friends and school?’
This is the answer – You are the one who decides where your child goes to school. You are also the one with the power of allowing or refusing certain peers into your child’s life. If you insist on a healthy lifestyle, your child is more likely to have a positive attitude towards physical fitness.
What is a good parent?
A good parent is one who is always willing to foster proper communication channels, discipline, and love while providing all the basic needs. Parenthood is a journey, and there will be some bad days when you feel like you are not doing enough. Therefore, what makes you a great parent is always being ready to evolve and learn.
Are you not sure of your parenting skills? Do you sometimes look at your children and wonder where you went wrong? All hope is not lost.
There is a platform for all parents who are trying to be good at raising their children. To clarify, it has been running for over 15 years and helped over 75,000 families. Additionally, they have 1.3 million faithful followers from all over the world and have been featured on leading cable networks including CNN, Fox & Friends, Today, Steve Harvey, etc.
Soon, you will be coming home to well-behaved kids who have already finished their homework and set the table for dinner. You will never have to yell at anyone, telling them to clean their room. Now you can say goodbye to bedtime war, anger outbursts, technology addiction, and chronic disrespect from your kids.